Becoming a parent and getting unwanted advice go hand and hand like PB&J. Whether you like it or not, someone is going to have an opinion about your parenting style, how you're raising your kids, what you’re feeding them and what school you send them to. Whether this person is a random friend (who probably isn’t even a parent) or your mother in law, here are some helpful ways to deal with this type of person. We’ll start calling them the UAG--the ‘unwanted advice giver’.
Listen to Their “Concern”:
Is there a valid reason why this UAG is giving you advice? Is it something you should consider? If this person isn’t usually a UAG maybe they think they have some valuable advice they’re sharing with you and it could be worth listening to. Either way, give them the courtesy of listening and you be the judge of whether that advice was valuable or not.
Pick Your Battles:
If your mother in law insists on your baby wearing a sweater because it’s “too cold for a baby” outside, even though it’s 75 degrees and beautiful, just let her have this battle. Is it worth the argument? Grab a light sweater and when you feel like it’s getting too warm, just take it off your baby without saying anything. Done and done.
Avoid, Avoid, Avoid:
If this UAG is trying to corner you to give you advice, just avoid them. Make an excuse to use the restroom, fake a phone call, or simply pretend you’re busy. Sometimes it’s easier to avoid the conversation with a repeat UAG than get cornered into a conversation.
If this UAG is constantly bringing up the same issue, educate yourself and be prepared for your argument. Is she constantly telling you that you shouldn’t give your newborn a paci and you want to? Get your stats ready and share it with the UAG. Boom, you won.
Use Your Pediatrician As Your Muscle:
If this UAG is constantly telling you that your baby should have XX amounts of formula a day, but you know they’re wrong, just ask your pediatrician and quote them. “My pediatrician said she should have UP to 32 oz a day, so she’s right on track, I don’t need to overdo it.” Conversation over.
Have Your Response Ready:
Nothing will annoy a UAG more than you giving them the same response every time they give you unwanted advice. “This is what works for us.” And if they try again, just repeat the same thing, “This is what works for us,” and before you know it, they’ll be annoyed into silence. Boom, you won again.